Can you end your relationship amicably? Absolutely!
The end of a relationship sparks a roller-coaster ride of feelings. Our relationships form a core part of our identity. When you go through the end of a relationship, you are also experiencing significant disruption to your sense of ‘self’. Intimate relationships provide you with a sense of purpose when these significant relationships end, even the bad ones, you can be left feeling lost, confused, and lonely.
Let me assure you it is normal to feel different, and completely conflicting emotions from one moment to the next. Anger, Jealousy, fear, anxiety, depression and even joy at your newfound independence. Friends and family may not understand, and you can feel very confused. That is where a good counsellor comes in.
One thing is for certain, you will grieve your relationship even if you are the one who chose to end it.
It is common to feel anxious, depressed, or obsessive when going through a divorce. Counselling can help you get your life back on track and support you through the grieving process.
Counselling can help by providing:
- A safe and non-judgmental environment where you feel supported.
- To find healthy coping strategies.
- Identify unhealthy thoughts and feelings and to replace them with a better understanding.
- To unpack the “dynamics” of your relationship to help you understand where things broke down.
- Learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy patterns of relating.
- Teach new communication skills.
Importantly counselling can also be a joint endeavour, during which you and your soon to be ex examine and agree on strategies for divorcing in a less harmful way. This and be very helpful if you are going to be co-parenting your children and adding new partners to the mix. Learning to relate as parents or simply friends can be very beneficial to the healing process after separation. Also, it’s healthy for your children and their emotional well-being.
There is a better life ahead for both you and your ex with the right support we can get you both there.
Sharron Brandon 